Approaching the Threshold

As you commit to your goal, you might realize you are approaching an invisible threshold. Each time as you are about to reach it, you might face an attack from fear and doubt. Some people even experience it physically. Your legs get numb. Your chest gets tightened. You want to run.

At this point, it’s important to accept your fear and do it anyway. Focus on your goal, the person you want to become, and commit to your action—a public speaking event, handstand, climbing trees or preparing an interview.

However, don’t get caught up with results. You might have tried your best for more than a few times. But this time, you still haven’t crossed your threshold. Maybe something hasn’t clicked yet. Maybe you realize you still have new muscles to strengthen or new skills to build. It’s okay to take a rest and go out and have some fun.

If you see a child, say, practicing handstand against a wall, you would want to encourage her. Tell her to believe in herself and keep trying. But if she still hasn’t kicked up and has got completely frustrated with herself, you can choose to keep pushing her. Like my parents used to do-“Don’t come home before you got it figured out.” Alternatively, as I would rather do, you can take her hand, give it a gentle squeeze, and say, “Let’s come back the other day.”

Sometimes you want to put in your best efforts. You want to realize how short life is and live as if it was your last day. But sometimes it’s equally good to realize you still have a lot of time. It’s okay and fabulous to rest, drink some beer and watch sunset. Then you can pick up what you haven’t finished the next day. When you treat yourself kindly, you start to see how kind life is. Even though you haven’t become that better self, the grass is still green. The earth is still rotating in a steady pace. When you wake up in the morning you can still come back to where you left off. When you relax, you start to bond with life.

Remember not to give up, same way as you won’t tell a toddler to stop walking after a few stumbles. Keep challenging your limitations. Focus on your goal and put in the best efforts. But open your heart to each outcome. Allow some room for rest and care, trial and error. Allow the small and nagging discomfort as you come back. If you haven’t yet, give yourself a gentle squeeze, and say, “You are doing so well.”